Motel of the mysteries 좋았다면

An arch and witty tale purporting to be the dissertation of some future archeologists' discovery and exploration of the "Toot and C'mon Motel" (any resemblance to a Holiday Inn and the Egyptian pharaoh is entirely intentional.) In the process, they get just about every detail wrong, surmising it to be a necropolis - does the "Plant That Would Not Die" symbolize eternal life or… wait a minute, isn't that just the ubiq…